Grief Support: Honoring Your Loss

To Love Is To Grieve. May We All Be Privileged To Experience Grief. If you are here, you may currently be experiencing the loss of a dear loved one or have been experiencing the loss of a loved one for quite some time. You may be experiencing conflicting feelings caused by the end of, or change in a familiar pattern of behavior, or are wanting to learn additional ways to support someone in your life who is grieving. Thank you for being here and for taking a step to help yourself or help others. Please accept my warmest condolences as you navigate your grieving process. Grief isn't a one dimensional result because there are dozens of losses that lead to grief. Many of us associate grief with end of life; however, grief includes any significant emotional loss of any kind. A few examples of losses that invite grief are: * Divorce * Loss of Health * Retirement * Financial Change * Empty Nest * Loss Of Trust * Loss of Faith * Moving Grief Can't Be Measured Or Compared. Grief Is Timeless. Grief is immeasurable and timeless. It doesn't judge and can't be judged. It's a different experience for every person and it doesn't decipher the difference between race, religion, gender, animal, species, etc. It's your heart feeling a loss that doesn't have to be explained to anyone for any reason. Your grief is your journey to work though, learn from, and grow with. Grief needs to be seen and heard. If you are suffering a loss due to the death of a loved one, I hope you slowly invite your heart to be embraced with the fulfilling love you feel for your loved one as the pain of their loss lessens. Honor your heart and the bond you shared with your loved one by allowing yourself the time and grace to properly grieve your unique relationship. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.

HONORING YOUR GRIEF:

The pain and suffering of loss, no matter the events leading up to your grief, may feel life shattering. The trauma you experience is different and yes, the way you grieve is different, but loss is painful to everyone. You may experience a variety of emotions as you walk your healing journey. Your heart is suffering and your body is now in a type of survival mode - survival for your own well-being and potentially for the desired survival for the loved one lost. Grief can be confusing and overwhelming and while the below are examples of what you may experience, please be kind to yourself and those you're caring for as you/they weave this difficult period of time.
Grief May Inspire:
  • One step forward and one step backward
  • Unintentional negligence
  • A lack of comprehension
  • Heart-pounding anxiety
  • Body trembling crying
  • Increased appetite
  • Decreased focus
  • Fear of letting go
  • Regret and guilt
  • Lack of appetite
  • Exhaustion
  • Isolation
"Grief, I've learned, is really just love. It's all the love you want to give but cannot. All of that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest."
Jamie Anderson

Supporting Someone Who's Grieving

  • Offer to walk with them
  • Offer to help with housework
  • Offer to sit with them (not fix)
  • Tell them you're bringing groceries
  • Offer to interact/play with their kids or pets
  • Tell them you'll handle the work on their calendar
  • Offer to watch a movie and eat popcorn together
  • Ask them what has to be done and do it for them
  • Tell them you're bringing meals and on which days
  • Know that what they feel is clouded by emotions they cannot control
  • Suggest a code versus the vulnerable phrase “I need help” so they can reach out for support easily
  • Set periodic caring check-ins from the date of loss: 3 weeks, 5 weeks, 2 months, etc. Life goes on for you while they may grieve for months or years
  • Tell them you support their grieving process and reassure them there is no time limit. Listening to or sitting with a grieving person without the desire to fix or suggest positivity goes a long way.
We often feel stress and discomfort when someone is grieving. As a caregiver, it's not about saying the right thing, brightening their day, or taking their pain away. They want to feel pain and sadness because they are grieving. Their heart is broken and by feeling pain, they're honoring the love they can no longer give to who they lost.
They just need you to say, "You're going through a really painful time and I want you to know, I'm here to comfort and care for you." They'll want to talk about the person or fur baby who's passed and their tears are part of their healing. Many fear bringing up the name of who has passed, worried it will upset the griever. The griever wants you to talk about who they've lost and ask about them because every story they tell and every tear they cry is part of the grieving process. During a time in my life when I was grieving the death of someone I'd grown up with, it was insinuated my loss was minimal since it had been a while since I'd seen the person who had passed. I immediately felt isolated in my feelings and a need to prove why I was sad. Although the words spoken were not meant to upset me, they did. If you are a caregiver and supporter of someone who is grieving, the best thing you can do is to honor where the griever is with their pain. All you need to know is they are hurting and they are trusting you with their suffering. To open your heart to a griever is to extend a warm hug that soothes deeper than you realize.

Additional Support

If you need someone to talk to who shares an understanding of your grief or if you're wanting to learn more about supporting a loved one grieving, I'm here to support you.
I offer a complimentary 30-minute welcome conversation to ease your grief. For additional support in guiding you through your journey of loss, I offer personal phone grief sessions in packages of two. I'm here to gently walk you through your extremely difficult time as you channel a love you never want to forget or navigate your way through a challenging life event.

Fur Baby Loss Resources

“Honor your grief and the pain you feel when you lose a beloved pet. It is the first step toward healing.” – Karen A. Anderson
ARTICLES
GRIEF MEDITATION FOr PEOPLE & PETS
LOVING SUGGESTIONS To memorialize Your pet
Chewy Customized Memory Stone: I ordered a stone from this Etsy shop in memory of our Maya Ray and the order was easy, quick, and beautiful. We love it.
Support for Grieving Pets
The pain you feel is real and it's warranted. You're suffering a dear loss. Invite each day for what it brings. Ride the easy waves when they wash in and embrace the sad tears when they stream down your face. Honor your pain because it becomes the messenger of love you can actively give to your loved one or beloved fur baby who’s passed. Grief is love and love is forever.
Christine Passo Care & Comfort Coach; Inspiring Comfort